Saturday, August 26, 2006
-
Monday, August 21, 2006
// embrace the empty space
my hand in the air..
wide open..
breeze slips through..
gave me a sudden chill..
i crouched down..
caving into a black hole..
there, embrace the empty space..
next to nothing.
deceived by the morning star..
sun rise is just another lie..
till night falls, i live my life..
i live my life again.
:::
phobic,
believing scares me.
my thoughts chases my emotions..
leaving me scattered in dismay.
still..
who would be my night sky..
who would take my hand..
filling up the empty slots..
fingertips to fingertips-
teasing, whispering sweet nothings..
who would see me, like mirrors do..
see through me, the way i am..
breaking through the surface.
understands me..
knowing me..
loving me for who i am.
::
'stead.. making me feel worse about myself..
sinking me lower when i'm already six feet under.
like a siren..
a dreadful reminder..
making me feel twice as bad about myself..
guess i open up too quickly..
i've said too much.
:
fear creeps into me again..
it feeds on me.
leaving faint scars on my pale skin that says..
no ones made for me.
::: :::
i just need to see one..
one star shining up bright.. tonight.
spoken on
8:17 PM
-
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
// saturday night..
i feel like a "home-girl"
too much of that in fact.
had six different plans last night..
but i just didn't have the mood to go anywhere..
anyways, i ended up at east coast park with the guys..
daniel, junlin and zf..
we had the boozes- chatted till late..
'yknow the usuals.
when i woke up in the morning, i found this big-ass bruise on my left hand..
and the whole thing was practically numb..
i went to the doctor this morning and she said it has something to do with my nerves..
causing difficulties to clench and unclench my fingers..
its swelling too!
should i laugh at myself right now?
should i cry?
well i think its kinda funny tho...
this kinda thing always happen to me!
i'll go out feeling GOOD..
and then i'll roll down the stairs at some clubs..
trip over my own two feet..
or i'll walk into the wall..
sprain my wrist while gaming in some arcade..
orr.. or! just come back home with tons of bruises..
with absolutely no memories at all-
on how the fuck i got them.
sigh.. so typical -jo.
its just so ME!
-falls off the chair-
spoken on
11:18 PM
-
i'm sorry..
i couldn't say a word.
my mind's all messed up.
i feel utterly shredded.
i cried for everything i couldn't say..
with all my emotions stirred.
broken into pieces.
anger, frustrations, guilt and hurt.
now i can't feel a pinch..
i am numb..
i am tired.
:::
if only i could die..
if only it was this easy..
if only i could cave inside myself..
to smile instead of cry..
if only i could hide..
spoken on
7:38 AM