Monday, April 05, 2010
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.. all the masking in front of people has finally taken its toll on me.
"The silence behind my every laughter, my every smile..
The tough exterior that I hold strongly on the surface..
The wild nights, parties and late night boozing..
Beneath it all.. I am really fading away."
Today, I finally broke down...
And as the room slowly darkens..
The sun sets on me..
I know I'll pick myself back up again..
But how soon will that be?
When will I be me, again....
spoken on
10:44 PM
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Fallen Trees :::
Emotionally, People fall weak easily.
The exterior of an individual is merely a facade beneath the truth…
It is a wall that’s tainted by past experiences and present manipulation by what surrounds us.
Sometimes, it is better to let go and embrace the stages of our lives.
The journey ahead is long, the pages’ been turned chapter by chapter…
And the story continues…
“Sometimes, when my roots run dry… it feels like the end of time- but whenever it rains, the sun will shine again. That is when I grow stronger, stronger than before- each time I fall.”
“The branches may look bare, and everything that’s left behind will soon be far from view. That’s when spring arrives… and the flowers bloom.”
“… Dirt brown soil, fertilized with hope with each planted seeds by our still memories that we can remember will bloom into pulchritude blossoms. That’s when we look back and appreciate changes.”
That’s what makes us who we are today.
Protection :::
Everyone needs a shield- from self-despair, doubts, insecurities and contradictions.
We must learn to see things from a different perspective…
One’s never lack of self-improvement- justify not to others, but to yourself.
No matter how long it takes, there’s always time for a change.
People are judgemental in many ways…
Absorb criticism and ignore their self-righteousness.
Never judge a book by its cover.
My Shield :::
No matter how many times people knock me down- I will recover and stay rooted to the ground. I am stubborn by nature and I tend to learn things from the hardest way.
I hate to be vulnerable and be taken advantage of… I’d never show my weakness in front of people I’m not comfortable with.
I am strong in protecting the people that I love but I am not strong enough to protect myself- I have scarred myself in ways which I can’t explain…
My shield- these invisible walls that I’ve built around me- brick by brick through the years… by hatred, deceits and betrayals, false pretentious acts and lies, let downs and disappointments… I’ve been raped by trust.
So, call me arrogant… pour your judgements on me. It gives me pleasure…
Be my bricks…
So, build me up once again… and again.
spoken on
4:05 AM